Author – Daniella Ebomwonyi – 1 st year medical student, University of Sunderland.

The week before my birthday, I had the biggest shock of my entire life.
Growing up, I had always been the extra hardworking one. My upbringing
wasn’t the easiest, but I was determined not to let my past dictate my future. I
revised hard and always passed my exams. That was my identity, until one
day, it wasn’t.

I remember sitting in my bedroom with my camera, ready to film my “I passed”
reaction video. I opened my laptop, clicked Outlook, and saw the email. My
heart dropped. “Below cutoff score”. My head started shaking. There was no
way. I had failed. Not only did I fail, but I would have to retake the entire year.

Was I even good enough to be in medical school?
How would I tell my parents?
How would I tell social media?
That led to the question, retake or drop out.
Who was I outside of medicine?

It was time to mourn the life I thought I would have.
I had a non-traditional journey to medical school; one built on perseverance
and serious faith. But now, fear and self-doubt were eating that all away. I
always wanted to inspire others to chase the impossible. But how could I
inspire anyone when I couldn’t even inspire myself?

In medical school there is an unspoken rule, you MUST be perfect. Failure is
UNACCEPTABLE. I had 2 options, retake or drop out.

The truth is that time really does heal. You cannot stay in the same place and
expect to grow. Eventually, everyone found out, and something unexpected
happened, I was flooded with support. Older year groups reached out, both
online and in person, offering advice, notes, resources, and reassurance.
Suddenly, I wasn’t motivating others, I was being carried by them.

I reflected honestly on what went wrong. It was time to improve my exam
technique, deepen my understanding, and rethink how I approached learning.
I realised I didn’t just want to just pass; I wanted to grow beyond lectures and placements. This was my chance to rebuild and take responsibility for the
person I wanted to become.

If I’m honest, I felt awful. My self-worth disappeared almost overnight.

The hardest part wasn’t going back; it was the week before. I was terrified of what people would think. My old cohort had already moved on, talking about supporting the new first years… the very group I would now be joining. The cohort that once felt like “mine” no longer was. It was time to rebuild not just my knowledge, but my confidence. My background had shaped me, but it didn’t need to hold me back. I chose to make it my strength.

I committed to a healthier relationship with productivity. I applied for every single
opportunity I found myself eligible for. I contacted lecturers. I reached out to senior students. Little by little, I started to grow into someone I was proud of.

Throughout this journey, I’ve wrestled with doubt and questioned my purpose. But I’ve learned the importance of surrendering to God’s timing. Patience, humility, and growth through setbacks. Medical students often carry the pressure to be perfect, but perfection is an illusion. You cannot improve if you don’t acknowledge your weakness. You can’t grow if you never fail.

Yes, I failed. Maybe you have too. Retaking a year didn’t ruin my story, it refined my character. Everyone has their own timeline. And the grass? It is always greener where you water it. Right now, I’m learning how to water mine as I discover the next episode of Dani’s diaries.